Growing up....

Sometimes I wonder how old I really am. Seems like it's yesterday that I would study for an exam in high school. I even remember way back when I'm enjoying my handheld radio while I relax on top of a bunkbed on a sunny afternoon (I was 8). I have this uncanny tendency to recall things in the past and yet I have a mediocre short-term memory (I can't remember phone numbers nor names if i don't refer to them often enough). But once I've known and use that person's name and phone number, remarkably I'll remember it (I still remember a couple of my classmate's names when I was 10 yrs. old).

Maybe I'm a slow learner? Takes awhile for things to sink in? I did excel in Math and Science in my curriculars. Or better yet refuse to accept what is now? Maybe that's the case. I do tend to resist change sometimes, especially if it's something of a habit.

I still look like a teenager, with or without the added facial hair. lol. But I think I've grown quite a bit in terms of thinking/analysing things and situation. A friend of mine always wonder how I can point a different perspective when shared a problem with me. I guess I should thank another 'friend' for that, learned quite a lot from her and she always been more mature than me.

I guess I'm just scared to grow up. It's not really about the responsibilites, cause I'm able to cope up with them lately. But I guess there's certain unresolve things in past or maybe I just enjoy being a teenager. I think they're right when they say "high school is the best years...", it's true for most but not all.

Trying to find a way to snap myself out of this dillusion. I'm actually glad that I'm learning a great deal with reviewing kits in youtube. In some ways it help me to communicate better and prepare beforehand. I actually recommend it to anyone to do reviews, and it could be about anything. It's a good transition/start to public speaking and doing presentation. Maybe they should have a class for that. lol.

I also need to find another inspiration to get myself back to my career. For one, I do need to get a good paying job to support my family as I've been "freeloading" for some time now. I guess it's a combination of rejection and economic recession that I sorta give up looking for a job. It's quite a dismay for trying a couple of months and not getting anywhere. I'm probably doing something wrong, maybe i'm not qualified or i'm applying to the wrong industry or both. lol. I am trying again to apply to job opportunities. Hopefully they'll consider 'Meads'. hehe.

And lastly, maybe it's whom you hang out with. Since I came back from college, I haven't really made any new friends (well except internet friends. lol) I catch up with my highschool friends which is nice. But friends from college, we went on our separate ways--I still talk to some of 'em. I did have that isolation phase after college. I can't really go out due to lack of funds (no money) or finding people who shares the same interests that I do. I turned to the internet for that and found great friends (varying ages) But still would be nice to have actual friends that you can meet in person. I guess blaming "lack of money" is a lame excuse. I don't really need to spend a significant amount of money to hang out with friends. Hmm... just need to find a place to meet new people. It's always been easy to do that in school, but I guess it's a challenge now that I'm not.

Gundam Updates and Reviews:
~ I started reviewing the chibi SD's. I'll do another unboxing tonight.

~ I need to get working on my custom for 2old4toys' contest. lol.

~ Thinking of building my 1/144 Masurao as a little break to my usual SD's.

~ Might review another Stikfas kit. We'll see...

Other things:
~ Quite tempted to get the Hasegawa eggplanes sooner. I've been planning to get it when the D-style Glint comes out, but that's late June. But got to think about my backlogs and my WIP's. lol.

~ I need a new belt. The current one i'm using is about to snap in half.